Two Thieves And An Atom
by yaoigirl22
Summary: Mick and Len aren't sure how they went from robbing jewelry stores to Mommy and Daddy (there was still a debt over who was Mommy), but someone seem to find it hilarious. At least Lisa is happy.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything of DC's Legends of Tomorrow, or anything DC related.**

* * *

 **Two Thieves And A Baby Atom**

"…Len, what the hell is that?"

"It's a baby."

"Why is it in the backseat of our getaway car?"

"I don't know."

" _ **How**_ did it get in our getaway car?"

Len doesn't answer this time, one part clueless, and one part staring at the baby that was making noises in it's basket, blissfully unaware of the two very confused criminals.

Two very confused criminals who had just finished robbing a bank.

"We need to go," Len said looking back at his partner, "police will be here in fiv—"

Wailing sirens was their only warning before red, and blue lights were flashing in their mirrors, getting closer, and closer.

Len turned, reached back, and grabbed the handle of the basket –and who the hell uses a woven basket in this day and age?-. He lifted, and placed the basket in his lap.

"Go." He then ordered his partner once the basket was secured.

Mick gunned it.

By the time they shake the police, and pull up to their safe house, the baby is asleep. An amazing feat considering Mick had almost flipped the car at one point.

 _ **~.~**_

"Sooooo, are we keeping it?"

Len looked away from the still sleeping baby to his partner who was lodging on something that was probably furniture at one point, finishing off a beer. The thief looked back at the baby, eyes narrowing in on the golden chain on the baby's wrist. Rotating it showed the same colored plate with elegant words engraved on it.

Raymond.

Logically, he knew he should just drop the baby off to a hospital, or even on someone else's doorstep. He was not the best person to care for another person, and not just because he stole things. He was trying his best of Lisa (this was his last heist, with Lewis in jail, and their grandfather having passed away, Lisa only had him now.) and he's sure he's only succeeding to a degree because it's _ **them**_ , but this was entirely different.

However, some part of him, the part that had him always had standing between his father and sister repeatedly. Objected to the notation, objected to him….abandoning this baby who looked only a few weeks old, and already life was being cruel to him.

No! Absolutely not, he and Mick were not babysitters, he was going to pick up the basket, get in the car, and—

The baby, Raymond, coo'ed, and blinked eyes open.

Big, dark eyes stared at him.

…..Crap.

 _ **~.~**_

 _In today's News, Central City National Bank was robbed today by criminal partners Leonard Snart, and Mick Rory. The two criminals were able to outrun the local authorities, however about two hours later, Snart was seen breaking into Mommy and Me. While money was stolen, the owners of the story also noted that numerous items were also missing, the police are baffled as what the criminal will do with the baby items._

 _ **~.~**_

Waking up to her brother trying not to burn down the kitchen was normal for the eleven year old Lisa Snart, even seeing Mick lodging on the old couch wasn't odd. What was odd, was seeing Mick staring at a baby carrier that was on the coffee table. Curious, she went over and peered in, eyes widening when she didn't see the expected (meaning jewelry, money, etc.). And when it did finally click at what she was seeing, she squealed.

"Lenny, I have a new brother!?"

"Told ya she'd be happy, Mick!" Len called from the kitchen.

Mick grunted, before leaning over to poke at the baby in the cheek, the baby twitched but doesn't wake up. After eating, which was spent with Lisa talking to Ray, tiny hand wrapped around her finger, then the girl actually eating, Len had to all but carry her out the door so that they would be on time for school. When he came back, Raymond was laid out on kitchen table, Mick was hovering over him, wearing thick gloves and mask that Len didn't even know they _**had**_. In the man's hands were thongs that Len had picked up at a dollar store.

Len blinked, then looked at Ray who didn't look concerned, then back at his partner.

"What?" Mick said, after he had pulled down his mask.

Sighing, Len went over, "Put those back," he said as he picked up the baby and to his room, he noticed that Mick had laid out the wipes and clean diaper, so not a total disaster.

Mick did just that, going to the kitchen rather quickly, and looking a little relieved.

"Never thought Mick was the squeamish type," Len said to Ray as he laid the baby down after laying out the changing blanket.

Ray yawned.

Honestly, he thought Mick would have been in the wind by now, then again, his partner hadn't really said anything when Len had told him he was out of the game. Just grunted, and asked about their final heist.

Sometimes, Len couldn't figure out Mick.

It wasn't always a bad thing.

 _ **~.~**_

Last night, Ray (Lisa's new nickname for him) had slept in the basket, however, tonight he was sleeping in the bassinet that Len had stolen, and it was put together in the afternoon (it took Mick an hour, a lot of cursing, and Len snickering in the corner). It was set up in his room, and honestly from what he remembered of his sister as a baby, he expected to get up at least once in the middle of the night.

To his surprise, both he and Ray slept peacefully through the night.

Len had no complaints.

"Keep it up," Len said as he changed the baby's clothes, "and we will get along just fine."

Ray just hiccupped.

* * *

 _ **Let Me Know What You Think!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Two Thieves And An Atom**

They didn't live in Central City, or anywhere near it, despite Len doing "jobs" there. When he took his sister in, he made sure she was far from that life, despite her knowing what her brother more or less did. They city they lived in, wasn't a big as Central or Star, but it was big enough that Len wouldn't be recognized while walking down the street. The apartment wasn't middle-class, but it wasn't a hellhole either, and the neighborhood even less so.

"What the hell is this supposed to be?" Mick grunted.

"Dinner." Len responded as he placed down Lisa plate.

Mick picked up his fork, and poked at his…dinner, "It moved."

"Eat it, or starve."

Lisa ate it, the fact that she didn't say a word, or make a face, told Mick that she was either use to this. Or her taste buds had died long ago. Mick is not sure which is worse.

"Next time I'm cooking," Mick grumbled as he started eating.

Lifting Ray out of his carrier, and settling him in the crook in his arm, Len huffed. "I refuse to eat spaghetti for the rest of my life."

"At least you'll know what it is, and are less likely to die from it."

"And yet you're eating it."

"I'm an idiot."

Lisa giggled, rolling his eyes, Len sat down in the chair next to his sister, picked up the warm bottle, pressed the tip to Ray's lips. The baby opened his mouth, and started eating. Balancing the bottle in one hand, he used the other to pick up his fork to eat. After dinner, Len handed Ray off to Mick while he did the dishes, grunting Mick settled Ray proper in his arms before going to the sofa to watch TV; Lisa following behind like a duckling.

"Can I hold him?" Lisa asked once they were settled, and the TV was on.

"Hold his head right, or your brother will have a heart attack," Mick said as he handed the dozing baby over.

"I know," Lisa said with a tone that told of one who has heard the instructions a dozen times before.

With his head properly supported, Ray stared up at Lisa with sleepy eyes, before giving a big yawn. Mick took the small blanket (one of many around the house for this purpose) and wrapped it properly around Ray's body. Duties done for now, Mick turned his attention back to the television screen, lips twitching when slightly off key humming started up next to him. When Len had finished up in the kitchen, and came to announce it was time for his sister's bath, Lisa's humming had turned to low singing. Still off key, but Mick didn't mind neither did Ray, seemingly cooing softly in response before eventually falling asleep.

"Can I take a bath with Ray?" Lisa asked as her brother took Ray from her so she could go get her nightclothes and get into the tube.

"We'll see," Len hummed.

That meant yes.

Ray slept through his bath, and dressing, much to Lisa's disappointment. After putting Ray to bed, Len joined his sister and Mick in watching a movie. Stolen baby monitor on, and close by. Lisa made it about half-way through the flick, before she was out like a light, curled up between the two; her head in her brother's lap.

Len covered her with a blanket, and continued with watching the movie

 _ **~.~**_

Three months later, Mick is in a baby store, glaring at two different baby formulas, cursing Len for not being more specific. Something the man knew his partner did on purpose, because Len was specific about _**everything.**_

Who knew the man would get so pissy about eating the last cup of chocolate pudding.

"….Erm, excuse me?"

Mick looked away from the containers to Store Associate, Ritz according to her nametag, and she looked very nervous.

" _Security still at the door entrance, emergency exit to the left, sound activated."_

In in the basket, and his carrier, Ray coo'ed, and squealed happily. Mick, with the two baby food in hand, moved over to him. "Yeah?" He then said to the girl.

Ritz shuffled nervously, "Do you need any help? You've been staring at the formulas for some time."

Mick grunted, and looked down at the formulas still in his hands, honestly he should just buy both as his response to Len being a passive aggressive ass. Then again, him getting the right tin would piss Len off, as it would have ruin his plan. Pleased, Mick held out the tins toward the woman.

"My partner sent me out with a list, and didn't put down which type," Mick said bluntly, "and I know if I come back with the wrong one, he'll be a smug bastard all day. However, if I come back with the right one, he'll sulk. I want him to sulk. Oy, what did I say about kicking off your socks."

Ritz blinked at the word partner, eyes staring for a good moment at the man who grumbled at the cooing baby who starting kicking his feet as Mick tried to get the sock back on. Whatever nervousness or fear she had went away as she watch the man's eyes go soft when a tiny hand wrapped around his finger.

"Well," she cleared her throat, and getting Mick's attention, "let's see if we can guess right. What do you remember about the tins at your house?"

Mick left the store with the tin with the pink label, along with whatever was on the list. Ritz doesn't expect to the see the man for a while, or ever, so imagine her surprise when Mick came back. No baby, but with a six pack of beer, which he handed to the slightly big eyed woman.

"He sulked." Mick grinned.

Despite knowing better, Ritz giggled, "I would have preferred rum." She grinned at him.

 _ **~.~**_

"Lenny?"

"Hm?"

"Are you Ray's mommy now?"

From where he was sitting on the large cover, dubbed the play cover, Ray settled between his folded legs, and leaning back against Len (though he had a tendency to tilt to the side, his balance was still off). Giggling, and laughing as Len used the grip the baby had on his fingers to move cubby arms up and down. The thief looked over at his sister who was laying on the cover, her homework spread around her, eyes looking and waiting for her brother's answer.

" _ **Why**_ , do you ask?" Len finally asked once his brain had clicked back on.

"My friend, she said, that since Ray doesn't have a real mommy and daddy. You, or Mick have to be them."

Now, Lisa, Len knew. Was a very smart girl, far smarter than any girl her age should be, smart enough to know the answer. So, what was his darling sister up to? Humming, and looking down when Ray squealed, he turned the baby around, and with a firm grip placed him on his feet. Because he was still figure out his legs, Ray didn't stand, not a problem for Len who bounced the baby up, and down. Lips tilting up into a soft smile, at the big gummy smile he got.

"If anyone is the mommy, it's Mick."

"Am not!" came a voice from the bedroom.

"Are too!" Len shot back.

Lisa giggled.

 _ **~.~**_

"Len,"

"What?"

"He's doing something."

"Raymond is always doing something."

"This is a weird something."

Sighing, Len turned off the stove, and moved the pan off the burn (he had yet to burn anything, and wasn't planning on doing so now), he then went into the living room where Mick and Ray were. He stopped, and stared.

Ray was crawling.

Okay, he _**wasn't**_ crawling, the baby still was figuring out his arms, and legs. No, but Ray was moving, it was kind of cross between a wiggling and belly scoot, the best the man could describe it would be like watching a salmon swimming upstream.

It was _**adorable**_.

"…..Why are you making that face?"

"I'm not making a face."

"Are too."

"Am not."

Ray coo'ed, and continue on.

"Where is he trying to go?"

Len shrugged, as he settled down on the blanket to watch, Ray having noticed; turned his direction. Something warm filled the thief as he watched the baby head toward him, picking up the child when Ray bumped into his leg. Ray gurgled, and making what was pretty much a happy sound when Len held him closer to his chest.

"You're making that face again."

 _ **~.~**_

Len woke up to Mick snoring in his ear, and two very unhappy children. The man all but shot up, alert.

"What happened?" he asked, already tossing the covers back.

"I—" Lisa bite her bottom lip, in her arms, Ray wiggled, and whimpered unhappily.

Lisa shifted him in her arms, Ray wiggled some more.

"Lisa," Len reached for Ray, worried that his sister would drop him.

Lisa flinched, pulled Ray closer, and took a step back.

Len froze.

"Lisa," Len's voice is soft this time, and his arms lowered.

With his back still to Len, Mick's snoring had stopped.

"I—I had a dream that he came back, h-he h-hurt you. A-And h-he, R-Ray—"

Tears were rolling down her cheeks, and her voice started to hitch, sensing the mood as all child do; Ray whined. Len is up, and over to them. Both are in his arms, and then they are all back in the bed. Sniffing, moving closer to both Ray, and her brother, the little girl made a distress sound when Len moved Ray. The man made soft soothing noises, saying quietly that he was merely moving Ray into a better position. When that was done, Lisa settled an arm over Ray's stomach to cling to her brother's shirt, Len reached over Ray's head to run his fingers through his sister's hair. Between them, Ray settled down, from feeling both calmness returning and Len's other hand's thumb rubbing the free space of his tummy.

Both Snart siblings stared at each other, Lisa's eyes wide with fear of his brother disappearing like in her dreams, while Len did his best to show her that she had nothing to fear, he was here. He wasn't going to go away, nothing could make it otherwise.

A sudden humming, startled them.

It was deep, rough, tone familiar.

Lisa sighed, the tight grip on her brother's shirt loosening as slowly her eyes closed. Her brother's hand, the humming chasing away the worry and bad dreams, Len watched her sleeping face, looked down at the sleeping baby, lips twitching when he saw the baby sucking on an invisible pacifier. Then he looked up at Mick.

Mick stared back, still humming.

Len fell asleep, something light in his chest.

* * *

 _ **Let Me Know What You Think!**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Two Thieves And An Atom**

Somewhere between Ray's arrival, and now, pictures had started popping up all over the apartment. Mostly of Ray, and Lisa, either together or separately, occasionally one, or two pictures of Mick and/or Len will pop up; usually with Ray in arm.

Both men had taken to leaving the most embarrassing pictures around the apartment for each other to find.

So far, Len was in the lead with a picture of Mick in a tiara playing with his sister, and Ray, who made a rather adorable dragon.

 _ **~.~**_

Mick had made a friend.

Ritz, from the baby store, had somehow became Mick's friend. Len was pretty sure she lured him in via beers, and actual edible food.

Lisa adored her.

"What the hell was that supposed to do?"

"I'm telling Lenny you cursed," Lisa tattled over the straw of her milkshake.

"And I'll tell him what really happened to the carpet."

Lisa huffed, in the carrier, Ray gurgled around the baby spoon he was sucking on, which still had some of Mike's chocolate shake on it. Next to Lisa, Ritz laughed before slurping up a gummi worm.

"Did you just blackmail a child?" she inquired as she ate another worm.

"Yes, yes I did. And I'm very proud." Mike pulled the spoon out of Ray's mouth, Ray whined, Mick just scooped up more, and stuck it in the baby's mouth. Ray coo'ed happily.

Lisa stuck her tongue out at him.

Mick farted.

"Eww!"

"Mick!"

"Been holding that one in for a while."

"Oh my god, I can't breathe!"

In his carrier, Ray farted.

"Aw Ray, not you too!"

"I'm so telling Lenny!"

Ray laughed.

 _ **~.~**_

The discovery happened when Ray was seven months, and the Spawn Of Satan, was fighting sleep, and screaming his head off. Lisa, was sleeping like the dead, thanks to the cold medicine she had taken before bed. Mick was in the room, most likely awake despite Len shooing the man back to bed. Currently, Len was walking back, and forth in front of the sofa, rubbing a small back, and murmuring softly as he tried to get Ray to settle down.

At some point, he ended up sitting on the sofa, grabbing a discarded toy in one hand, and Ray in his lap. When a familiar sound started up, looking at the on television, he found that it was the musical _Singing In The Rain_ , he stared. Mildly entertained as one was when growing up with a childhood movie, so it took him a moment to realize that the crying had stopped, looking down, he found Ray no longer crying, and watching the movie with rapid interest.

"Well," Len said after a long moment, "that works too."

He went back to watching the movie.

When Mick came out to check on both Lisa, and them, he found Len still on the sofa, head tilted back, and mouth agape. In his lap, was Ray, happily curled up against him, and asleep.

He went, and got the camera.

 _ **~.~**_

Raymond was crawling now, following them around everywhere his little hands, and legs could take him. Lisa loved it. Len, and Mick prayed that when they eventual tripped and fell, it wasn't on the child. .

"You're making that face again."

Looking up from Ray, when the baby had crawled toward him, Len locked eyes with Mick, who raised a brow, waiting for a response.

Len stuck his tongue out at the man.

Mick gave a huff of laughter, before going back to checking Lisa's homework. Math was Mick's specialty (his sister was currently playing with the neighbor kids in the apartment two doors down. Being supervised by two single moms), smirking Len went back to Ray, who was using the grip he had hand on the man's sleeve to wobbly stand. Len shifted the baby's grip so that he could wrap an arm around the baby's waist while Ray still stood. Rocking, Ray giggled, and laughed, laughing harder when he started to tilt.

"You should not find gravity failing you, funny," Len said as he straightened the baby.

Ray blew raspberries.

Len blew one back.

" _Motherhood is an amazing thing,"_ Mick thought as he checked off on a answer.

* * *

 ** _Let Me Know What You Think! Also a quick reminder I do have another account over at Archive Of Our Own (AO3) under the same account name yaoigirl22, it's where I'll be posting my more daring stories if you want to call that, very soon. Check it out if you are curious._ **


	4. Chapter 4

**Two Thieves And An Atom**

They didn't have to work, the amount they made from their jobs guaranteed an easy living, however they would get **_bored_** , and that was last thing they wanted to do now. Sooo, work. A problem since they didn't like working, eventually, they sucked it up, and went looking.

Mick found a job as a mechanic shop, and Len was able to charm his way into being hired at a small bookstore owned by an old widow woman named Maria, who didn't mind that Len brought Ray with him to work.

Normally, people would think it was because the store is never busy (yet busy enough to stay open), however Len was pretty sure it was because Maria just wanted to play with Ray.

Thusly, the infamous Mick Rory, and Leonard Snart had jobs.

 ** _~.~_**

Finished with his shower, Mick stepped out, Ray in arm, both squeaky clean. The eight month old, babbling.

"Ah da, ba!"

"Yeah, yeah," the man murmured as he grabbed the two towels off the rack.

With practice ease, both were wrapped up, and out the bathroom. "Hold still," Mick grumped when he placed Ray down and proceeded to dry him properly, only to have the baby start wiggling, and rolling around.

You'd think after eight months of this, it wouldn't be an issue.

Ray giggled, and kicked his leg.

"Well," Mick said as he rolled Ray back into place, "at least you're not peeing on me like last time."

Ray hiccupped.

Both properly dressed, Mick, with Ray, headed out to the living room. Lisa was sitting on the sofa, dressed in her favorite pajamas and eagerly waiting for her brother to finish popping the popcorn. Mick handed Ray off to the girl, who started telling the baby all about the movie they were about to watch.

Ray just stared at her, and drooled.

In the kitchen, Mick picked up the made bottle, which was warm to the touch, and headed back to the sofa. He took Ray back from Lisa, and once properly settled, pressed the rubber nipple against the baby's mouth, and soon Ray was eating.

Len came over, bowl of popcorn in hand, glaring at Mick's "You didn't burn it, a miracle."

After getting the drinks, the movie started.

"What are we watching anyway?"

"Singing In The Rain"

Mick groaned, "Again?"

Ten minutes in, Ray was out, comfortably asleep in Mick's chest, open mouthed, lips occasionally moving as though sucking on an invisible pacifier, tiny hands curled on Mick's night shirt, a large protective hand on his back.

 ** _~.~_**

"I hate monkeys."

Rolling his eyes, Len kept his attention on his sister, and Ray. Lisa had moved the stroller closer to the information board and was currently reading it to the baby, stumbling over some words. Len had tried to help earlier, however a pout from his sister had him stepping back.

A loud shriek turned the criminal's attention to the exhibit just in time to see two Chimpanzees tumbling off a tree, the crowd, small for the time of day took pictures. Len lifted several wallets, didn't want to get rusty, just in case. Mick grumbled, and slurped his soda.

"Lenny! Lenny!"

Lisa was pushing the stroller back to them, "Ray wants to see the tigers next!" she asked once she got to them.

"Does he now?" Len humored, taking the stroller handle while Mick took Lisa's hand.

"Yep!" Lisa chirped.

In the stroller, Ray hiccupped, and farted loudly at the same time. They get to the tigers, there were three, one was playing with a large ball, the second was sleep, and the third was sharping it's claws.

"Take a picture of that one!" Lisa pointed to the tiger playing.

Len, the good big brother that he was, took the picture.

Their zoo visit ended with Len carrying his sleeping, drooling on his shoulder sister to the exit, her ridiculously expensive gift shop brought elephant hat in one of his hands, pocket heavy with stolen wallets. Mick next to him, pushing the stroller, Ray was awake, and chewing on the stuffed baby penguin that Mick had brought him.

"It fits," Mick had said when Len had raised a brow at him, "it's fluffy, and fat like him."

"It's **_baby_** fat," Len defended.

"Still has the word fat in it."

Len had thrown a stuff monkey at him.

All in all, not a bad outing.

 ** _~.~_**

"I don't know which is worse, your cooking, or this shit they are trying to pass off as baby food."

"Mick, language." Len chastised.

"What?" Mick rolled his eyes, "Not like he's gonna remember it."

Around a mouthful of baby food, Ray made "num, num" sounds, little feet kicking in the booster seat, Len looked his partner with a "see?" look.

Mick shrugged, "Food still looks like shit."

"Mick."

"And he still looks fat."

"Mick!"

* * *

 _ **Let Me Know What You Think!**_


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